The Ice Queen and the Girl with a Fiery Heart

The girl with a fiery heart went down the wintry slope

She met the elusive ice queen who lives in an isolated castle

She knocked on her door, but it was bolted shut

But the girl with the fiery heart didn't want to give up so easily

She climbed the frozen towers to get in through an open window

Bruised and bleeding, she met the ice queen

The moment their eyes locked, warmth filled the room

The ice queen's frozen walls disappeared and she was swooned.

The ice queen's heart melted with a kiss

For months, their time together was pure bliss

She couldn't resist the warmth of the girl with fiery heart

But she couldn't believe she was able to feel something again and it scared her to death

She was torn on how she lost control when the girl with a fiery heart was there

Fearing that she would be a threat, she pushed her away

But the girl with a fiery heart resisted

She loved her unconditionally even when ice queen's touch froze her to the core

She fought for her and tried to break the ice queen's walls down

But the ice queen felt like she was being invaded

She felt the love, but she was somehow jaded

The girl with a fiery heart hoped that the ice queen would change

She believed that somehow that her love would melt the ice queen's heart

But alas, the ice queen's heart couldn't be melted by her warmth

Instead, ice queen's calousness and detachment froze the girl's fiery heart

The ice queen said she wanted love but didn't know how to receive it fully 

What once was a promising love story turned into a tragedy

Forced out of the ice queen's castle, the girl with a fiery heart was no more

She thought that the ice queen took the fire out of her heart and turned it into stone

But being alone and cold in the wintry desolate, 

The girl discovered that the embers in her heart continued to burn

With self-love and forgiveness, she rekindled her fire 

And before long, the snow and ice started melting around her

Spring bloomed and she found herself loving someone else again

But time and again, she's reminded of the ice queen and wondered how's she's been

Little did she know the ice queen wondered about her too

Alone in her tower, eyes filled with tears

No matter where she looked,  there was no trace of the girl with the fiery heart

She could've had a happy ending with her but she chose fear over love

Tsunami

Sand between my toes

My life without woes

The sun shined the brightest it has ever been

The sky, the bluest I have ever seen

It was the perfect afternoon

I thought it'd be forever but gone too soon

I heard the warning bell but I could not move

My feet were planted; I was frozen from where I stood

It felt as if I was inside a vacuum

All the air sucked out and I was doomed

The moisture in my lips

It disappeared as soon as I took the dip

Then the water receded from shore

The tides started to rise as I watch in horror

The peaceful waves suddenly turned into a monster

I tried to run but my soul was there no longer

My body felt numb from the pain

With my own tears, I drowned from within

My heart obliterated and my mind jaded

Thoughts of forever after have now faded

When it was all over, I was broken and alone

When reality set in, the emptiness chilled me to the bone

I whispered to myself, "Never again let reality get tangled up with the make believe,

Because when the dreaming ends, the pain aches with no reprieve..."

But I couldn't hate you no matter how hard I tried

I wish I could so it would be easier for me to say goodbye

Loving you is something that I will never regret

If I had do it again, I'd still wager on this losing bet

Another lesson learned...

Another armor earned...

But will I ever find forever?

I'll wait in vain and wonder…

Charmed

Could she be a witch or just a fair maiden?
She makes me want to blurt out my feelings that are quite hidden
She makes me want to lose myself and be a fool for everyone to see
But at the same time, she makes me want to be superhuman and be anything I want to be

It seems that she has me under her spell
Following her where ever she goes may that be heaven or hell
A touch of her skin sends me flying to oblivion
The sound of her voice intoxicates me like an addiction

Seemingly a rebel but an angel in disguise
Do I love her? Of course, without thinking twice
Even if she makes me wait for an hour or two
I can wait until forever if I have to
I may look mad and act as if I want to leave her behind
But she can take her sweet time, I don’t really mind

I always give her a hard time and tease her often, you see
She probably thinks she does not mean that much to me
But in truth, she's the one I can't live without
And I have fallen head over heels without a doubt

She's clumsy like me and forgetful too
But somehow, I can't make myself find someone new
And no matter how many times she tries to drive me away
By her side, I will always stay

Like a tide rising during a storm
Like a baby in the verge of being born
Loving her scares me to death
But she's the source of my joy until my last breath

My Plea

you said you would never fall for someone like me
that no matter how hard i try we will never be
you're too afraid to try and too cynical to give us a chance
you got all these criteria of how love should be
but love shouldn't labeled or be limited
it is far greater than the society's ill-conceived notions
or what's written on so-called love guru blogs or books
it is full of possibilities. of hope. of faith

what if i was the one you've been waiting for
the one missing piece of the puzzle you've been putting together
what if you're looking at all the wrong places
when the love you truly deserve
the one who stays and never leaves
the one who loves you for your beauty and your flaws
the one who breaks when she sees you cry
the one who will defy the world just to make you smile

i may not come wrap in bow with silver lining and flashy things
i may not be the knight in shining armor that you read about with fairly tale endings
but i will be there holding your hand when the curtain falls
i will be there wiping your tears when your world crumbles
i will be there when everything fades
i will be there when no one else remains
because without you, i cease to live
there is nothing in this world i wouldn't give
if i don't have you as my wife
i may still be alive but without a soul inside

LOVE IS THE VICTORY OF MY HEART

"There is only one sin - lack of love. Be brave, be capable of loving, even if love seems a terrible and treacherous thing. Find joy in LOVE. Find joy in VICTORY. Follow the dictates of your HEART."
-- Paul Coelho (The Valkyries)

If I do not know how to love, then what kind of human would I be? Would I even be human if I do not have the slightest idea of what love is and what love can be? I have had my heart broken numerous times. And which heart break, I promised myself I will never let anyone hurt me again. No one has the right to make a fool out of me again.

But the biggest fool turned out to be me after all. Because no matter how many times I have uttered those words, I found myself falling in love again. It seemed as if I have forgotten about the pain and the stupidities that came with falling in love. A travesty, is it not? Here I am again. Writing blogs. Writing these words as if I have never been hurt. Writing them as if I have never been in love before. Full of hope. Full of vibrant energy. Like a little girl smitten with her first crush. Though staring into nothingness, it does not bother me. With a simple glance, my whole body shivers. Like a candle that has been lit, my heart burns and glows in darkness. Like a hardened wax, the facade of a bitter lover with a cold heart slowly melts. It reveals a helpless child looking for love. The embers of false promises and betrayal from the past are extinguished. Love breathes life to everything it touches even to those who have thought they have died when their lovers leave. Reborn with new hope. Stronger than the previous battle.

I had a conversation about love with a friend a few nights ago. "I wanted to be loved," I revealed. I'm tired of one-way streets. Dead ends. Detours. I deserve to find the one who sees me for my flaws and imperfections yet still loves me just the same. Without reservations to whatever repercussions. Because even if I am not perfect, I am still worthy. Each of us is worthy. Worthy of love. Requited love. Worthy of unconditional love in a very conditional world. Everything seems to have conditions these days. And should love be the same? Should it, too, fit the society's mold? But why should the most basic aspect of our lives needs to be negotiated. Should love be a transaction? That whoever decides to fall in love must get what they bargain for. May that be affection or energy. "There is an opportunity cost to everything that you want," my Economics professor once said. Should that include love?

Because love, in its purest form, never asks for something in return. It never loses though it has given everything. It gets satisfaction nonetheless. Because true love is about loving one's self first before loving anyone else. How can you love someone else when you do not have love for your own? You never ask for love in return. Because if you have loved true, like a mirror, love will reflect back to you.

I revel on the idea of me holding your hand. The two of us sitting side by side under the moonlit sky. The world continues to revolve but we are frozen in that moment forever. LOVE IS THE VICTORY OF MY HEART. And I will get to it one day. I will get my "transactions" in order. I will get to you one day. Do not behold this as a cowardice, my love. For I am not giving up on you. I am not succumbing to the awe and terror that love brings. I am taking it all in. I am letting it drown me. I am letting it wash all my insecurities and inhibitions. Because you do not deserve half of me. YOU DESERVE ALL OF ME.

And so, I will let these words echo through valleys, through mountains, through oceans and through empty spaces,
" I love you..."

My love, I hope you hear it.

My Heaven

I will sleep tonight
With a smile on my face
I saw you again
I saw your heavenly face

We talked
I don't know if you notice
I can't look at you
I melt in my place

Your mere voice makes me shiver
Shiver in delight
An intoxication that feeds the soul
An addiction that satisfies my whole being

The perfume that you wear bewitches me
Making me into something I wouldn't normally be
It's like I've been put on a spell
Following you wherever you go
Maybe that be in heaven or hell
Baby I will still be there

My Cocaine

I cannot help myself
You are, indeed, my addiction
I have to get my fix everyday
I got to have you straight to my veins

Just seeing you there
I cannot breathe
I cannot speak
Your stares are making me weak

You make me lose it
Walking around like I'm dazed and confused
So don't stare at me like the way you do
Or else it will be your fault
I might lose control and be all over you

I watch you sleep in the dark
And with the silhouettes you make
How much more I can take?
An angel to behold
Someone as good as you
I kept asking myself
Do I deserve you?

I must have done something good in my past life
Or maybe the Guy upstairs have a soft spot for me
Because He gave me the greatest thing
A mere human being like me can have
He gave you

Forever Yours

I’m so torn

Torn into pieces

Don’t know what to do

Can’t seem to get this out

It’s hanging over my head

It’s taking over my heart

I’m in love

And I don’t know where to start

I’m in love

And I don't know what to do

I can't seem to get any sleep

Always thinking

Always longing

When will I get rid of this disease?

I’m psychotic

I’m paranoid

I’m delusional

I’m forever

Forever yours